Dear friends and colleagues,
South Wales Police has requested that THT Cymru notifies all LGBT community members in South Wales about the dangers of internet dating. This call to highlight the pitfalls comes after a Cardiff man was verbally and physically attacked in the Corporation Road area of Newport towards the end of November 2007.
The victim of the assault had arranged to meet his attacker via a popular gay and bisexual men's website following a brief conversation, exchanging mobile numbers and then driving to the Newport address.
Meeting people online can be fun and exciting. However, it is can sometimes go wrong. In order to avoid any potentially dangerous situations, there are a few simple tips you can follow to maintain your safety:
When chatting online:
Do not give out your primary e-mail address: if someone pesters you, block them from sending any more messages to you if you are able to.
It is easy to become very open from behind a computer screen, but unfortunately, like everywhere else, there are dishonest people online. Do not divulge your home address or telephone number, or work details until you are sure you can trust the person.
Do not believe everything you are being told, or that every picture you see is in fact the person you are talking to. You might be able to verify a picture by asking them to send another photo of themselves, or by asking questions about the picture. Photos that may seem too professional may have been downloaded off the internet.
When meeting someone:
Be reasonable with your expectations. Do not let your fantasies run away with you - what somebody seems to be online might not be who they are face-to-face.
When meeting for the first time, arrange to meet in a busy public place like a bar or a club, or with friends. You can always go somewhere more private later once you have met them and you are sure you can trust them. Do not rely on the other person for transport - then you can leave whenever you want.
Let someone know who you are meeting and where. You can leave a note, keep a diary, e-mail a friend, or ask someone to phone you on your mobile to make sure you are all right.
Apply your common sense and the basic rules of personal safety. Maintain a healthy degree of suspicion: if anything seems odd, be careful.
If you plan to meet a stranger for sex, be safe and take condoms with you in case you need them.
Meeting somebody via an internet chat site whilst under the influence of drugs or alcohol may make you more vulnerable to physical attack and sexual assault. It may also make it more tricky for you to negotiate safer sex and condom use.
Do not feel compelled or pressurised to do anything you don’t want to. Should things get out of hand don’t hesitate to report it to the police. They’ll be more understanding than you think.
If you would like to talk to somebody in confidence about using the internet to meet people and maintaining your safety, please call THT Cymru in Cardiff on 029 20 66 64 65 or in Swansea on 01792 477 540 or email
info.cymru@tht.org.ukPlease forward this email on to anyone in your e-contacts list who may benefit from the information above.